WILL YOU PLEASE REVIEW MY STORY!?
Sorry for the caps, I was trying to get people to notice it. I’m just starting this story, and I wanted some opinions. I know that there are some grammar mistakes, but, other than that, what do you think of it?
I grabbed my carry-on from the compartment overhead, and slung the strap over my shoulder. The flight attendant shooed everyone out of the plane. I went quickly, wanting to see what the place I would be living in for the next few years would look like. My parents walked up ahead; my brothers stayed back, laughing at a joke. Their jokes were a twin thing that I would never understand. I lingered in the middle, trying to pick who to walk with.
I felt someone come up behind me and grab me by the waist. “Greyson,” I laughed, “put me down.”
I heard him laugh back. “You really need to gain some weight, Verity. Wait, how did you know it was me?”
“Because Riley’s smart enough to know that the airport security will tackle you if they feel necessary. And, judging by the looks your getting, they’re considering it.”
“Nah. Once they know who our parents are, they won’t dare touch us.”
“You actually want them to know?” I asked, hoping that Greyson is kidding.
Riley came behind beside us. “Know what? That dad’s the guy that cured brain cancer and mom’s addicted to botox; and dad’s break-through medical advancement made us the richest people on Earth.”
“Exactly,” I answer, pulling the hod of my hoddie over my head, just in case someone was listening in on our conversation and wanted see us.
“Darlings,” my mother calls, waving her perfectly manicured hand at us. My mother looked more like my sister than a parental figure. She was often mistaken as my stepmother, seeing how old my dad was. “Come on over here! You’re father needed to make a quick call.”
My brothers and I amble towards our mother. “Oh, I’m so excited to see our new house, aren’t you?” she asked us.
That was the last thing I was looking forward to. We had moved thousands of miles away, into a practically empty city, so my mother could have a custom built 70,000 square foot home. “Mmm,” I replied, looking at my nails.
“I’m, like, so excited,” Greyson answered in an overly girly voice.
Thanks so much!