How do I handle a corporal punishment issue in my son's high school?
My 15 yo 9th grader came home from school the other day, telling me the teacher had "whipped" him. When I asked why, he told me that it was because he ran to the door when the fire alarm went off. That evening the teacher phoned to say that my son was constantly "disrupting her class". When I asked her if she whipped him, she became irate, admitted that she merely "popped" him. When questioned further, she also admitted that she told him he needed to be whipped every day. Our school does have a strict corporal punishment policy. It is to be administered in the presence of a second adult, and only after all other discipline methods have failed. This was the 1st notice I’d rec’d about his behavior. Also, it is not to be carried out in the presence of other students. This teacher seriously violated the school’s own policy by hitting my son in the classroom. I’ve not gone to the school board or the principal yet for fear that my son will be retaliated against. How should I handle this?
Public school, not private
Apparently some answerers didn’t read my question details. I have spoken with the teacher. I DO know what my son *asked* when he was told he needed to be whipped everyday, and humiliated in front of the class. Asked teacher to repeat directions. Teacher admitted that to be the truth. Corporal punishment policy in our school dictates that students are not to be "whipped" in the presence of other students, and then only when all other forms of discipline have failed.
hsfromth…..My son and the teacher agree on what happened. I didn’t have to take anyone’s side, or believe my son instead of the teacher. The problem I have with the teacher is that she failed to abide by the school’s policy for corporal punishment when she struck him in the presence of other students, without due process (no prior notice to parents of student misconduct, not notifying the principal, not notifying parent in writing of whipping [I had to learn about it from my son], and the fact that it was used as a first line of punishment, which is against the school’s Corporal Punishment Policy).
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I AM SO FURIOUS!!!! How can this be possible, if a school had a "policy" on my kid being punished like that, he wouldn’t even be registered in that school. But now your son is there, and I would go to the highest in rank and would bring this situation to their attention. I am thinking that this is a private school. I would change my son to another school, and talk to him, a 15 yr old boy understands, talk to him and explain, how his behavior was what caused his teacher to act like this, but no one should hit a child. As a teacher, I could NEVER do that, I wouldn´t even think about it. PLEASE, I know you may think this school is "good", just look for another one that has a "no hitting policy". I hope everything works out for the better.
Firstly make an appointment with the principal and the relevant teacher to discuss this matter.
Try to be impartial. Children can be provoking, but there are procedures in place to deal with undesirable behaviour.
Remeber that it isn’t going to benefit your child if you can’t have an open discussioni about this matter.
What your son did was run which he did and he was proabably told not to run and he broke the rule. He has to be punished.
Your son may have exagrated saying the teacher whipped him.
The teacher hit him to get his attention.
Where do you live that schools still use copral punishment?
Saying that he needed to be whipped every day doesn’t violate any school policy. And you have no idea what the child said to bring out a comment like that. Generally, teachers would only say such things in response to a pointed question by the student, a question that the student wouldn’t dream of mentioning in his quest to get the teacher into trouble.
As to "merely popped" him, that could mean that she barely touched him. These days, students know all the right words to say to get teachers into serious trouble when the student should really be the one who’s in trouble.
A parent who immediately takes the word of the child and assumes the teacher is in the wrong is doing the child a great disservice since the child learns that he doesn’t need to obey the rules because he can twist the system to his advantage. Also, that parent does the teacher a disservice since the teacher loses all respect and authority in the classroom and finds it impossible to teach since the children won’t behave after that.
In addition, the running when a fire alarm went off is something that you should seriously address with your son. It may seem silly and "no big deal" to him but rules about fire drill behavior are there to protect the children’s safety in case of an emergency. Children who run may cause a stampede that kills many.
I would suggest a calm, cool, meeting with the teacher. Be prepared to listen to the teacher. Have your son there so that he can present his side and not play you against the teacher as easily.
I knew a teacher who admonished parents to believe only half of what a child tells the parent about the teacher and then she’d agree to believe only half of what the teacher tells her about the parent.
This same teacher once had an irate parent contact the school board because her child said that the teacher had shown her underwear in class. The parent didn’t bother to check with the teacher for her side, didn’t get the whole story. The teacher was put through a huge ordeal, almost lost her job, because she had brought in some native clothing from a middle Eastern country to show the students while studying geography. The students had asked a question and been told that the pant-like portion of the clothing would also serve as the underwear of a person in that part of the world.
So, technically, she did show her underwear, since the garment belonged to her and she showed it to the class. But she wasn’t wearing the garment and nothing improper happened.
Moral of the story: Students often leave out a lot. They twist stories to try to get out of trouble themselves. A wise parent will not jump the gun but will go to the teacher and be prepared to calmly listen and get the whole story before assuming that the teacher is the guilty party instead of the student…