A salesman came to my door, asked if he could install a security system for free if I would allow him to place a sign for his company on my lawn. I’m obviously not going to agree, but when he comes back, I’d like some ammunition to explain why I am saying "no". Where is he trying to make money off me? Is it a service contract for the system? Will the system malfunction and I will pay for repairs?

Technorati Tags: ammunition, google, money, script type, security system, service contract, system malfunction, text javascript

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls — they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

PS – I locked all four of ‘em in the house. Better wait outside.

Technorati Tags: ammo magazine, ammunition, amp, dishes, empty beer cans, front porch, google, gun shop, guns, hey bubba, jim duke, magazines, mailman, nra, pit bulls, script type, text javascript, work boots

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. GO TO A GOODWILL STORE AND BUY A PAIR OF MEN’S WORK BOOTS SIZE 14-16 (WELL USED).

2. PLACE THEM ON FRONT PORCH, ALONG WITH A COPY OF GUNS AND AMMO MAGAZINE.

3. PUT A FEW GIANT DOG DISHES NEXT TO THE BOOTS AND MAGAZINE.

4. LEAVE A NOTE ON YOUR DOOR THAT READS:
HEY BUBBA,
BIG JIM, DUKE, SLIM, AND I GONE FOR MORE AMMUNITION. WILL BE BACK IN A BIT. DON’T MESS WITH THE PIT BULLS – THEY ATTACKED THE MAILMAN THIS MORNING AND MESSED HIM UP REAL BAD. I DON’T THINK KILLER TOOK PART IN IT, BUT IT WAS HARD TO TELL FROM ALL THE BLOOD. ANYWAY, I LOCKED ALL OF THE DOGS IN THE HOUSE. BETTER JUST WAIT OUTSIDE UNTIL WE CAN GET BACK.

COOTER

Technorati Tags: ammunition, boots size, dishes, dogs, front porch, goodwill store, google, guns and ammo, guns and ammo magazine, hey bubba, home security system, jim duke, mailman, pit bulls, script type, text javascript, work boots

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work
boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba,

Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don’t mess with the pit bulls– they attacked the mailman this morning and
messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part in it but it was
hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ‘em in the
house. Better wait outside.

‘Cooter’

Technorati Tags: ammo magazine, ammunition, amp, dishes, front porch, google, guns, home security system, jim duke, magazines, mailman, pit bulls, script type, second hand store, text javascript, work boots

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 Work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads: Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls — they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

PS – I locked all four of ‘em in the house. Better wait outside.

Technorati Tags: ammo magazine, ammunition, amp, dishes, empty beer cans, front porch, google, gun shop, guns, hey bubba, home security system, jim duke, magazines, mailman, nra, pit bulls, script type, text javascript, work boots

How To Install A Home Security System In The South
===================================================

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size
14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns
And Ammo Magazine.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition.
Back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls – they attacked
The mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don’t
Think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all
The blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ‘em in the house.
Better wait outside.

"Cooter"

Technorati Tags: ammunition, cooter, dishes, front porch, google, guns and ammo, guns and ammo magazine, home security system, jim duke, magazines, mailman, pit bulls, script type, text javascript, work boots