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IF YOU DO NOT BELIVE IN EMPATHS THIS IS NOT THE BLOG FOR YOU
*******DONT TELL ME YOU DONT BELIVE I DONT NEED TO KNOW*******
my younger sister and I just recently learned that we ourselves are empaths. we deal with it different ways, she clings to anyone who will take her; and she mirrors them as long as they allow her to hide in their happy emotions. I sleep, cant help it. but either way, both of us are in pain.
I have been aware of the possibility of myself being an empath for a while now. I struggled with the concept before. Simply wishing to shut the world out and run away so I didn’t have to feel everyone. Didn’t have to feel so drained. But I woke up the other morning and realized that I had hidden myself away for almost a year now, And I just cant have that anymore. So here is my dilemma I will tell all of you out there in the hopes that someone can help
As children my father emotionally abused me and my sister. It took years to find our own feet to find anger when he spoke his words of disapproval instead of pain. And one suicide attempt later I had learned to become numb. Not the right kind of numb, not the kind I so desperately search for now. I find myself looking for protection instead of the isolation I have cast myself into.
So why do I believe Im an empath instead of a manic depressant? Well I do admit I am depressed, I do not believe that that is in fact the CAUSE. I have seen doctor after doctor for tests and needles, all of them admitting there is in fact something wrong that it is depression or that they honestly don’t have a clue. I finally met one doctor who told me that it was my depression medication. And it was to an extent, I was surprised to learn that the medication to suppress my depression (that I had been on for three years) was in fact amplifying my need to shield myself. It caused me to feel raw, and completely open to my emotions and those around me. I feel as if Im being pulled apart in an emotional tug-a-war and some of them are not even my own emotions.
I do find this trait helpful but its simply to strong. I make friends easily (when I allow myself to) and can sympathize easily, I know exactly what everyone wants to hear. I can feel their pain there need their desire. So I’m the ultimate best friend. I only allow myself a few friends because it is all I can handle. Everyone comes to me when they have a problem (its actually odd to find people I barely know treating me as a life long buddy as they spill their guts on the floor…as if they were drawn particularly to me.) I feel as If I know them or as If I am them I can tell them exactly how they feel, how they will feel. 
because I can feel it. The anxiety is overwhelming.
So now I need help. I love to heal all of my friends emotional wounds but I simply cant handle the string of emotions of the outside world anymore. The mood swings from depressed to ecstatic.
I need to learn to shield or something… If you know anything please let me know. A webpage, or help group, or a book I can buy. whatever I don’t care. I just NEED a life.
Thank you so much for reading this!
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